once upon a time there was a prostitute called Maria.... parts from her diary:
Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. from that point onwards, things change, the man and the woman come into play, byt what happens before- the attraction that brought them together- is impossible to explain. it is untouched desire in its purest state.
when desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.
when people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. they know that the inevitable wil happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second.
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I have met a man and fallen in love with him. I allowed myself to fall in love for one simple reason: I am not expecting anything to come of it. I know that, in three months' time, I 'll be far away and he'll be just a memory, but I couldn't stand living without love any longer; I had reached my limit.
I'm writing a story of Ralf Hart- that's his name. I am not sure he'll be back to the club where I work, but for the first time in my life, that doesn't matter. It's jenough just to love him, to be with him in my thoughts, to colour this lovely sity with his steps, his words, his love. When I leave this country it will have a face and a name and the memory of a fireplace. Everything else I experienced here, all the difficulties I had to overcome will be as nothing compared to that memory.
I would like to do for him what he did for me. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I realise that I didn't go into that cafe by chance. Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
Generally speaking these meeting occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. if we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself and our universe changes direction.
Everyone knows how to love, because we are all born with that gift. some people have a natural talent for it, but the majority of use have to re-learn, to remember how to love and everyone, without exception, needs to burn on the bonfire of past emotions, to relive certain joys and griefs, certain ups and downs, until they can see the connecting thread that exists behind each new encounter; because there is a connecting thread.
and then our bodies learn to speak the language of the soul, known as sex, and that is what I can give to the man who gave me back my soul, even though he has no idea how important he is to my life. That is what he asked me for and that is what he will have; I want to make him to be very happy.
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This was for u to relax a little, hope u enjoy it. I am enjoying the book too much
