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Growing up in a different country with a different culture it makes it very hard for me to have appropriate communication with people in Albania. I was invited to a dinner party in Tirana, the table was full of people, but I only knew one. I was very afraid of communicating in Albanian, because I try to ovoid the fear of saying something wrong and worried how others would respond to them.
I was the last one to speak. My discomfort increased as each person took his or her turn. My body began shaking involuntarily, and my heart lodged in my throat, forcing me to gasp for air. When I was called upon, I scarily looked to the door thinking I could simply run out to end all the unpleasantness. Choosing not to suffer the humiliation of such a move, I opened my mouth and in big gulping breaths and introduced myself. The words came out like they had been strained through a sieve, but I survived.
Eye contact with someone that knew me well was consistently maintained. I wanted to make sure he was proud of me.
As I was speaking I was trying to use an appropriate language, choosing a language that is generally clear, direct, concrete and appropriate. Some of my expression were free of slang, using words that were inappropriate for those kinds of people. “I whispered to him why they have to be so judgmental”. '' Why do i have to struggle to fit in??''
Is not your fault, it is an unfamiliar group for you, and you made me proud tonight. After introducing myself as coming from Shkodra, he introduced me not only from Shkodra also from NYC, and soon after saw few changes in some people, ‘‘Inferiority’’, Why? Wonder thats all it takes for a social approval?????. hmmmm weird