Forumi Horizont (http://www.forumihorizont.com/index.php3)
- Gjuha Angleze (http://www.forumihorizont.com/forumdisplay.php3?forumid=165)
-- One by one...This is it! (http://www.forumihorizont.com/showthread.php3?threadid=18381)

I felt a surge of affection for...

I got a temporary job long-term potential. I worked at a law firm at 120 Broadway entering lawyer`s time-sheets into a database for 12 (twelve) bucks an hour. I worked with four woman in a tiny office called the Information Center. I sat at a computer and keyed in numbers all day, moving only three fingers of my right hand. On my lunch hour I had snarf peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from home then wander the tangled grid of streets east of Broadway. If I was feeling rich I`d spring for greasy Chinese food at Win Won, a little place with seating upstairs in an alley off Liberty Street. Most of the time I`d end up at the Strand`s Fulton Street Annex or at a place on Nassau Street called SoHo Books that sold overstock and remainders. Sometimes I`d walk to the World Trade Center and read magazines at Borders and walk around the mall...Being in the mall comforted me. It was like being at "Pazari i Evgjiteve" back in Albania...

Saturday morning I woke late...

I made a coffe and ate breakfast and watched some TV. I listened to the music and thumbed through some books and looked out the window and played guitar. Finally I walked to the back room and sat at my desk. I turned on my computer, opened a blank Word document, and stared at the blinking cursor without a thought in my head. I wrote for a while, stopped and read the lines. I read them over and over and then highlighted and deleted them and started again. After a while i stopped and deleted that too! I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and came back again. I looked at the tree outside my window then back at the screen. I typed some words and then stared at the tree again. Across the street a kid was yelling for Anthony to come out. I deleted what was on the screen and shut down my computer. I took a shower and left the apartment...

one by one... this is it!

Hello, and welcome to my continuing little diary ( even is not handwritten in here, still remains a diary!)

I went to N`s apartment early on Saturday and used the key he had given me to let myself in. He had worked late Friday night so I had not bothered to head to his place then, but I`d promise to be there before he got home Saturday. When he wasn`t home by seven, I started to get concerned. He had assured me that he would be home by six thirty at the absolute latest so he had have time to get ready for our dinner with Alissa and Jack. He was shooting something for a shoe company, and was supposed to start early to finish his job.
While I was waiting for him, I called Alissa.
"Hey Ana, she said. We still on for eight o`clock?"
"Definitely! I told her, but N. is not home yet, so I`m calling to say we might be a bit late"
"try not to be too late", said Alissa.
"I hope we won`t be honey"
...
Me and N. agreed on this date (with our friends) two days ago. N. showed up at his apartment around seven twenty. It was getting late for our dinner, but N. asked me if we can get "our desert" before we go out!
"We got a bit of time" I said adding a little wink. ( Maybe sex would put N. in a better mood, and I wouldn`t have any trouble getting him to our dinner date). Suddenly, N. enveloped me in his arms, and as our bodies pressed together, I could feel that he was ready to make love...We were both naked before we hit the bathroom. He released me to start the shower and adjust the temperature! Then he got into the shower , and offered me his hand. Warm water splashed across my face and my body...

once upon a time...

My mother still wasn't happy about "HIM". There were things he did that she couldn't pin on him directly, but she was suspicious! Like the calls he made to me every night, and when I didn't answer he either hung up or wouldn't leave a message. Sometimes he called late at night, the phone seeming to ring incredibly loud, just once, before I could grab it.
"Your mom hates me", he kept saying.
"She doesn't even know you", I said.
"And to know me as you have discovered, is to love me", he said.
...Because of this and other frustrations, my mother started making new rules. "No phone calls after 8:30,"she said one morning over her coffee cup, "Your friends should know better!"
"I can`t stop them from calling", I said.
"Okay, so you tell them you will get your phone taken away, she said courtly.
"Okay"...
There were other things too. Some nights when "HIM" knew I couldn't see him, he would drive by and just beep or sit idling at the corner of the building( pallat) across from my window. I knew he was waiting for me, but I could never go! I knew he knew that too. But he still came and waited. So, I would just lie there, smiling to myself, goofily secure in the knowledge that he was thinking about me for those few rumbling minutes before he hit the gas and screeched away...

A few years ago...

...One beautiful spring night, my mom was waiting for me inside. As I shut the door behind me, I could hear his engine rumbling, testing fate again. Really bad timing!
" you are late! My mom said."
" I know mom, Erisa and I were watching this movie, and I lost truck of time!"
" you weren't with Erisa! Nice try, Ana!"
This was a statement.
" where were you? Where did you go with him?"
" Mom, we were just out, it was nothing!"
" where did you go Ana????" now her voice was getting louder and louder..
" where does he live?" my mom kept asking.
" it doesn't matter!" I said softly...
My mom had her stony face , than that look again, like a storm crossing over me!
"it matters to me Ana! I don't know what's gotten into you lately, sneaking around, lying to my face, all of because of this boy that we don't even know! How can you keep lying to as Ana?! How can you be so dishonest?!"
" you don't understand mom", I said.

" go to bed Ana, my father said in a louder voice. So I went to my room, my heart thumping. As I passed the mirror in the hallway I glanced at myself, at a girl with her hair tumbling over her shoulders, and lips red from kissing HIM. I faced my reflection and committed this girl to memory, the girl who broke her mother's heart, never looking back ( the girl I was!)

before my return to America

...Suddenly my five senses went on full alert. He hadn`t made a sound but I knew the exact moment he had entered the room. I could actually feel his body heat getting closer as he crossed the room toward me. And then he was standing directly beside me. I could feel the warmth of his breath coming into contact with my neck. Instinctively, I leaned back at the same moment he wrapped strong arms around my waist, holding me tight.
" See what you do to me every time", he whispered in my ear. "It`s totally insane for me to want you so much!"
"Mmmm", was the only thing I could manage to murmur as I closed my eyes., knowing memories like this would have to sustain me forever. In a short time I would be living to return to America, and our lives apart.
I would return to my world, and he would stay at his...
I refuse to open my eyes when I felt his lips at the base of neck, then moving slowly to taste the area beneath my ear in one warm lick. Shivers ran through my body. He was making me want him and he knew it!