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Postuar nga sonila_21 datë 24 Korrik 2004 - 19:27:

Albanians are so weird.

Albanian Parents are too Strict.AM I RIGHT..???

PS<Welcome anyone to talk in english >

Postuar nga hirushja datë 28 Korrik 2004 - 00:33:

Why, Cause you want some Liberty?

I Love my Family, Soni. It is the lack of communication that you haven't got with them. Try and be polite and be sure what you are saying, make them believe that you can walk around the world without holding your parents hand

Postuar nga amor alucius datë 28 Korrik 2004 - 17:24:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha hirushja
Why, Cause you want some Liberty?

Is it a sin wanting more liberty then ur parents have had when they were young?
I think that there are a lot of girls who have excepted the fact that they have mostly no liberty in doing things like they want.

I think that the problem must be situated in the intelectual development of the parents: parents who have once studied,who have had some liberty understand that liberty is the most important thing in order to grow up in a independent person.

Postuar nga Rossonero datë 28 Korrik 2004 - 23:35:

Are you hungry??usaaaaaaaaaa usaaaaaaa usa(nga filmi bad boys II )
thanks for listening.
Ciao!

Postuar nga hirushja datë 29 Korrik 2004 - 03:19:

Amor I think you misunderstood my question. It is not a sin to have some freedom and it is not a sin to even ask a question whether Sonila was talking about liberty in the family.

Moving on to your question, it is not about having intellectual parents, cause this is a phenomenon that it’s been experienced by all of the families. It is all down to understanding our parents and them believing in us.

Remind me Amor if you are living in a country were you can see, that even European families are having the same contradict with their children and how can we pretend that our Albanians families should not have, were we know that judgement can be accepted and the mentality has always been there in our opinion. I still think that we all the children should understand our parents as they understand us.

Postuar nga amor alucius datë 29 Korrik 2004 - 14:29:

Darling,let me answer all the stuff you mentioned with one simple question about the diologue you can have with ur parents:have you ever brought a boyfriend home and said"mom,that's my new boyfriend he's gonna stay here tonight"?That's the "liberty" you'll never get by talking with ur parents,and here's no question of lack of communication,you can communicate as long as you want but the results...
As you can see those are problems that west-Europeans never have,and it's pathetic thinking that albanian girls most of the time must hide their relationships because of an middle-aged mentality.
One day,if I decide to have children,when they grow up I would be more than happy to see them coming home with their girlfriend/boyfriend,this mentality makes me sick!!
And believe me,because of their wider horizon intellectual parents can except easier such things than others.

Postuar nga hirushja datë 30 Korrik 2004 - 00:30:

Is this is why you want Freedom or Liberty (call it whatever)? Bringing a boyfriend home to your parents?
Well, Amor if this is one of the problems then my opinion is that, I would think twice before I introduced my boyfriend to my mum and believe or not, I’m not scared of her reaction of having a boyfriend, I am more embarrassed to introduce my taste of guy to her. I have a very close relationship with my mum but at the end of the day, it is all down to me to think of what do I mean with Freedom or Liberty and how do I make them believe that Freedom is what makes me Happy.

Tung

Postuar nga amor alucius datë 30 Korrik 2004 - 00:42:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha hirushja
Is this is why you want Freedom or Liberty (call it whatever)? Bringing a boyfriend home to your parents?

We call it "free to love when/WERE(also home)/how/who you want":my example was a simply one only to show you that one of the basic things misses!!And for me darling is one of the most important things to be in peace with myself,having a "hidden" relationship I wouldn't be in peace and that's why I consider it important.
But I'm happy that my parents are open-minded and the day I'll introduce them somebody they would accept it without thinking that I'm surely gonna marry!!
Albanian girls are mostly forced to think seriously,even if they are only 15 years old,a boyfriend for some parents means marriage and that's why I've some diffficulties in understanding...

Postuar nga sonila_21 datë 04 Gusht 2004 - 05:50:

Listen, I know very much about Albanians because I read a book written by a Serbian professor who studied their culture.

Yes Albanian parents are very strict. A father gets to decide who his daughter will marry and she has no choice. Also women are the property of their fathers until they get married then they're the property of their husband. Women can't own anything. Also men are allowed to beat their women as hard as they want whenever they feel like it for no reason.

Also, when a woman gets married, on her wedding day she presents to her husband a box, which contains a gun, which he has to use to kill her if her hymen isn't intact.

Also, women can swear to become virgins, and then they become men, and then they dress like men, and if anyone sees a woman dressed like a man he thinks that that woman is actually a man, and has to refer to her as "he" and treat her as men.

Also they got something called "gjakmarje" which instructs them to kill each other for the littlest things. That's one reason Serbs had to send the army into Kosovo, to protect non-Albanians from their backwards ways.

If anyone wants to know anything more about Albanians just ask me. Don't ask any Albanian because they are biased, ask me because I read a book written by a neutral impartial professor..

Postuar nga sonila_21 datë 04 Gusht 2004 - 05:59:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha hirushja
Why, Cause you want some Liberty?

I Love my Family, Soni. It is the lack of communication that you haven't got with them. Try and be polite and be sure what you are saying, make them believe that you can walk around the world without holding your parents hand

PS: i'm sorry cuz i'm having a problem w/my computer..

I Love my Family toooo ..there're so great with me but sometime's i hate them<<< don't go there---don't dress like this>>they're really making me sick...this is yyyyyyyyyyy...

Postuar nga darke datë 04 Gusht 2004 - 17:41:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha sonila_21
If anyone wants to know anything more about Albanians just ask me. Don't ask any Albanian because they are biased, ask me because I read a book written by a neutral impartial professor..

hahahahaaha

this is the most stupid thing I have ever read.
Who are you, Delphos Oracule or what? Do you think that just reading a book you can know a culture?! this sucks...

Postuar nga hirushja datë 05 Gusht 2004 - 01:29:

Well Darke. Sonila could actually give us some information about albanian culture..

Postuar nga sonila_21 datë 05 Gusht 2004 - 06:01:

hirushja !!
I'd love to disucss this with you......
I came to america when i was 9year's old < i came with my dad'mum & my brother> .So my parent's they still go by the old school albanian way's..i hate that...< don't go here..don't go there>
I respekt the way my family has rasied me and my brother. Yes there are day that I wish I can just walk out of my house and not worry about them...
Now i hate that ...i stay home all day...cook & clean ...cuz my mum want me to...i love to go out but they don't let me tooooooooo....i want to go to party.....they still don't let me toooooooo.....this is albanian way's..I know when i get married i wont need to call my mommy to ask her to do staff...because she has brought me up..the right way ...the albania way

my dad said when a guy comes to ask for me and I like him to tell him... and if I do like someone I am going to put my foot downa and tell them its him or no one else. < but he 's not going to like this i know> . He want's me to get married with a nice family............ this is albanian way....and i hate it so much....i want to get married with someone i love not with someone my father likes.....i don't know so much about you...but those staff i'm saying are true.....i'm not very happy with this......

PS; i can't give you any information about albanian culture...cuz i live in washington dc...you have to tell me...if you really live in albania..i love to listen what is going on there right now...
< my friend she just came from albania and she told me everything change in albania right now..and i'm so happy about that...

Postuar nga sonila_21 datë 05 Gusht 2004 - 07:09:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha darke

hahahahaaha this is the most stupid thing I have ever read.
Who are you, Delphos Oracule or what? Do you think that just reading a book you can know a culture?! this sucks...

PS:I'm a albania girl...I'm not a stupid like u say...I love albania people I'm not saying that...but everything i say...is just what i read in the book.
No one is like shqiptar they are proud for who they are..in usa where i live they don't like albania people ...i don't know yyyyyyy
I really miss albania ' my body is here in america but my heart is in my homeland ....<Albania>

Postuar nga Endri datë 05 Gusht 2004 - 08:55:

Hello sonila

If i read the book i hope i can be smart, culture wise of course.

Postuar nga _mIzZzA_ datë 05 Gusht 2004 - 23:36:

yeah I agree albanians are weird
so different form the others
sidomos the mam and dad oh god dont get me started
we don't have freedom form them at all
gees
sonila was that book in english or alb???????so I can read it 2

Postuar nga darke datë 06 Gusht 2004 - 01:25:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha sonila_21

PS:I'm a albania girl...I'm not a stupid like u say...I love albania people I'm not saying that...but everything i say...is just what i read in the book.
No one is like shqiptar they are proud for who they are..in usa where i live they don't like albania people ...i don't know yyyyyyy
I really miss albania ' my body is here in america but my heart is in my homeland ....<Albania>

Sonila, I din’t say that you were stupid. I’m sorry if I sounded rude in my message. But the last two lines of your message is something really ridiculous. How can you say “If anyone wants to know anything more about Albanians just ask me. Don't ask any Albanian because they are biased”. This is not very smart from your part, don’t you think?. And now you write that you are very proud because you are an Albanian girl. Your reasonings has no sense. You should read twice what you wrote before click the button to post it.

Now I would like to tell you something. Albanian people are biased? Aren’t you biased as well? Your professor is not biased because he is not Albanian? This is STUPID. If I liked to know about Albanian culture, OF COURSE I would ask to an Albanian, even more, I would look for to the oldest Albanian to ask about Albanian culture. If I wanted to know about Albanian culture I would live with Albanian people to know their culture!!!. Everybody have bias. Mainly because being born inside a culture means to learn costumes and behaviours, to acquire bias and habits; a culture means a way of life ( knowledge, beliefs, art, moral…)

Do you know… when you said that you have your body in America but your soul in Albania, this is something that I have heard from a lot of people here in this forum, and when I was reading this, and thinking about CULTURE, I remembered that one of the meanings of this word “culture”, in Latin “culturä”, was “what blooms from the soul”. Once somebody told me: to understand something you first have to love it. This is something why admire Albanian people.

All those costumes about sex and marriage that you indicated, maybe they seems at first sight outlandish and exaggerated but it’s very dangerous and prepotent to criticize a custom of a culture so old like Albanian one. I guess it is as the bullfightings in Spain. Most of the foreigners get horrorized with it and think that it’s something cruel, however here bullfighting is an art.

About the matter of the “strict parents”, let me tell you that this is not only in Albania. I know it by own experience. Oh hirushja and amor alucius, you girls, make me laugh reading your arguments

. I agree with amor alucious about the importance of the intellectual level of the parents. And for you Sonila… look at the positive side of your situation: YOU HAVE BODYGUARDS FOR FREE!

Postuar nga BluE_icE datë 06 Gusht 2004 - 08:21:

sure sure

any vampire that decides to attack you , the bodyguards are there immediately to help ,right cutie darke?:p(very nice talking about our culture but not a nice joke calling parents bodyguards for free ,you freak )

About the topic: every parent--child relationship is difficult ,it's the huge generation gap that makes it so.
In Albania you find it more difficult because of the mentality that they (we) have had in years.(parents marrying their children at 14 , arranged marriages ) Parents are just not used to the concept of their children having a boy/girlfriend unless they want to get married with him/her. It is because of our country's history,the wars that have caused a slow pace for our mentality to develop. And for changing the mentality it takes time and education.
That is just a stereotype of the relationship cos on the other hand there are alb families and parents that are much more open minded.

It's sad that Sonila has to deal with that but you know you got to make the best of the situation.Girl ,if it is possible,you can break some rules(ose traditen) slowly ,giving them a new way of thinking and not losing their trust on you either. Besides you don't live in Albania ,that should be easier, i guess.. (i don't have experience with this problem).

Postuar nga darke datë 07 Gusht 2004 - 01:34:

Re: sure sure

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha BluE_icE
any vampire that decides to attack you , the bodyguards are there immediately to help ,right cutie darke?:p(very nice talking about our culture but not a nice joke calling parents bodyguards for free ,you freak )

In fact, I don't need my bodyguards to follow me, I am enough to scare boys when they come close to me

-----> I am the vampire!:p If someone get to be saved from me then it's when my father comes in action... if you saw him when he gets angry, he opens the holes of his nose like a wild fierce and his eyes start to shine like diamonds ----> this is something that I also inherited:p:p:p

Postuar nga sonila_21 datë 10 Gusht 2004 - 07:12:

Re: Re: sure sure

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha darke

In fact, I don't need my bodyguards to follow me, I am enough to scare boys when they come close to me -----> I am the vampire!:p If someone get to be saved from me then it's when my father comes in action... if you saw him when he gets angry, he opens the holes of his nose like a wild fierce and his eyes start to shine like diamonds ----> this is something that I also inherited:p:p:p

PS:waw waw waw waw waw waw waw waw ..u never knowwwwwww

Postuar nga _mIzZzA_ datë 10 Gusht 2004 - 21:47:

what you guys talkin about I don't get it??????

Postuar nga suada datë 12 Gusht 2004 - 08:42:

hmmmmm i came in usa when i was 16. and to be honest with u guys at that time i thought that too. i thought that they were too strict and i hated it. i wanted freedom!!! but now that i grew up, i understand them better, i realize that they were right! well,this is my opinion. i may be wrong!!!!

Postuar nga arsona datë 18 Gusht 2004 - 00:38:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha darke

hahahahaaha this is the most stupid thing I have ever read.
Who are you, Delphos Oracule or what? Do you think that just reading a book you can know a culture?! this sucks...

hahahahaha dark you are funny man. o my god lol

hey sonila i think albanians are not weird. why are they weird? i am not having any problem with my freedom, but from the other hand i got this privilege because i won the trust of my parents. it is your choice it is your decision to decide what you are going to do with yourself and your life, but as far as i know my parents being that strict with me and talking with me for everything, being friends to me, making me distinguish between good and bad things that might happend in life have really helped me and grown me as a person. you got to have the conversation between you and your parents, and i am pretty sure they will understand. and by the way that book that you read talkes about albanian culture and it is not talking about nowdays but for many many years ago, go to an usa library and give a try and read american culture, you will find almost the same things that u just said for albanian women. e.g. a woman almost 40 or50 years ago in usa could not get married if she was a teacher. so what does this mean did she have her freedom? i guess not so you will find almost the same things in everyother culture, the differenc in usa is the diversity. diveristy is life, and in albanian we don't have diversity or we might but not as much as here. you said that amerikan people do not like albanian but u yourself r proud of being one. which is good. i am glad to hear that, but i am an albanian and i feel loved from others and i don't think that amerikan don't like albanians because they are weird, there must be something else. have u ever asked yourself y they don't like albanians? ..... so we are albanians and we have to present our self for whom we are, our parents are great, are people who care for every singel thing that will happen to us. they are strict and i think most of the times they should be, i think i will be the same with my kids if i want the best for them. they can go party have fun, enjoy their life but not do whatever they want to do.

bye

Postuar nga hirushja datë 18 Gusht 2004 - 01:43:

Well described Arsona. This is just what i wanted everybody to understand.

Postuar nga _mIzZzA_ datë 19 Gusht 2004 - 20:13:

arsoa thats good u won the trust from the parents

Postuar nga Unstoppable datë 16 Shtator 2004 - 08:31:

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha sonila_21
Listen, I know very much about Albanians because I read a book written by a Serbian professor who studied their culture.

No need for further comments , it's enough to make me laugh , especially that the book was written from a Serbian professor lol

Citim:

Yes Albanian parents are very strict. A father gets to decide who his daughter will marry and she has no choice. Also women are the property of their fathers until they get married then they're the property of their husband. Women can't own anything. Also men are allowed to beat their women as hard as they want whenever they feel like it for no reason.

Also, when a woman gets married, on her wedding day she presents to her husband a box, which contains a gun, which he has to use to kill her if her hymen isn't intact.

Also, women can swear to become virgins, and then they become men, and then they dress like men, and if anyone sees a woman dressed like a man he thinks that that woman is actually a man, and has to refer to her as "he" and treat her as men.

Excuse me miss ? Why do u call yourself albanian , if you know nothing about them ?!
Probably the book you were reading was talking about 19-th century , because now days , those things you're saying are a bedtime story for the retarted kids !

Citim:

Also they got something called "gjakmarje" which instructs them to kill each other for the littlest things. That's one reason Serbs had to send the army into Kosovo, to protect non-Albanians from their backwards ways.

Kete po ta shkruaj shqip se ma do mendja qe si shqiptare qe e propogandon vehten , duhet te dish shqip...SHqiptare je ti apo Serbe ?
Do i atribosh luften e Kosoves dhe krimet qe kane bere serbet atje , the things they call "gjakmarrje" ?
Nese je Serbe , e kuptoj ku do dalesh dhe ste ve faj qe shkruan keshtu , nese je shqiptare , te kesh turp qe flet me kaq arrogance dhe indiferentizem ndaj gjakut te derdhur prej shqiptarve te kosoves per te mbrojtur shtepite e veta nga Shkjau !

Citim:

If anyone wants to know anything more about Albanians just ask me. Don't ask any Albanian because they are biased, ask me because I read a book written by a neutral impartial professor..

Impartial professor e? lol
And now you've read the book , you're ready to predict albanian culture e?

Let me tell u something girl ...don't try to talk , predict and judge , something you know nothing about it !
Try to learn and think before u speak because is gonna save u the word "dumb" adressed to u !

p.s Hirushja , thumbs up about your posts girl ! Looks like you are ( like they say it in albanian ) ..me mend ne koke dhe kembe ne toke

Wish u luck girl !

Postuar nga oliinter datë 24 Tetor 2004 - 17:05:

Hi there

I wanna say something to that girl for the albanian parents.

We have the best parents in the world. What make's them to be very strict is that they care about you and try to protect you. Sometimes we like to discover new thinks wich some are good and some are bad. I would not like to explore this bed thinks! I mean if take care of you is very strict think than my darly girl you are wrong! Life it is not an Biological Experiment.

I love my parents and I will do everything to so Satisfy them.
Take care of Yourself good girl.

A big kees for my parents in Albania!

Postuar nga darke datë 24 Tetor 2004 - 23:46:

Re: Hi there

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha oliinter
I wanna say something to that girl for the albanian parents.

We have the best parents in the world. What make's them to be very strict is that they care about you and try to protect you. Sometimes we like to discover new thinks wich some are good and some are bad. I would not like to explore this bed thinks! I mean if take care of you is very strict think than my darly girl you are wrong! Life it is not an Biological Experiment.

I love my parents and I will do everything to so Satisfy them.
Take care of Yourself good girl.

A big kees for my parents in Albania!

Oftenly we find our fate on the roads that we take to avoid it!

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