Forumi Horizont Forumi Horizont > Tema Shoqėrore > Gjuhėt e Huaja > Gjuha Angleze > I Found this curious !
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Titulli Hap njė temė tė re    Pėrgjigju brenda kėsaj teme
lezhjani-82
I Pavdekshem

Regjistruar: 02/01/2005
Vendbanimi: Eternity...
Mesazhe: 4813

> People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
> When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
person..
> When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
need you have expressed.
> They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support,
> to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like
a godsend and they are.
> They are there for the reason you need them to be.
> Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
> this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
end.
> Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
> Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
> What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done.
> The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move
on.
>
>
[http://by127w.bay127.mail.live.com/...96&d=d1797&mf=0]
>
> Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn.
> They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
> They may teach you something you have never done.
> They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
> Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
>
>
[http://by127w.bay127.mail.live.com/...96&d=d1797&mf=0]
>
> LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
> things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation.
> Your job is to accept the lesson,
> love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life..
> It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
>
>
[http://by127w.bay127.mail.live.com/...96&d=d1797&mf=0]
>
> Thank you for being a part of my life,
> whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
>
>
[http://by127w.bay127.mail.live.com/...96&d=d1797&mf=0]
>
> Send this to every friend th at you have on-line,
> including the person who sent it to you.
>
> 0 Replies - you may need to work on your 'people skills'
> 2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
> 4 Replies - you have picked your friends well!
> 6 Replies - you are downright popular
> 8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome
> (and that's probably why you're on MY list)
>
> I wonder what mine will be.
>
[http://by127w.bay127.mail.live.com/...%3dcid%253aimag GUARDIAN ANGEL
> Forward this message the same day y ou received it . It may sound
ridiculous, but it is right on time. We believe that something is about to
happen. Angels exist , only sometimes they haven't got wings and we
call them friends; you are one of them. Something wonderful is about to
happen to you and your friends.. Tomorrow at 11:04 somebody will address
you and tell you something you have been waiting to hear

__________________
Jeta eshte nje semundje vdekjeprurese seksualisht e transmetueshme.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 24 Dhjetor 2007 09:34
lezhjani-82 nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė lezhjani-82 Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me lezhjani-82 (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė lezhjani-82't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: lezhjani-82 Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
kurt
.........

Regjistruar: 29/12/2007
Vendbanimi: ......
Mesazhe: 5021

Re: I Found this curious !

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha lezhjani-82
Who can explain these ?

Why, Why, Why ???


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle it comes in?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of
every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of
your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

hahahhaah, most of them are funny, but the last one!!! oh! shooooooooot i'm in trouble.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 01 Janar 2008 16:52
kurt nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė kurt Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me kurt (me Mesazh Privat) Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: kurt Shto kurt nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto kurt nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
lezhjani-82
I Pavdekshem

Regjistruar: 02/01/2005
Vendbanimi: Eternity...
Mesazhe: 4813

Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......!!!!!!!!

========================================

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because I was trying to breathe!

__________________
Jeta eshte nje semundje vdekjeprurese seksualisht e transmetueshme.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 19 Mars 2008 23:43
lezhjani-82 nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė lezhjani-82 Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me lezhjani-82 (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė lezhjani-82't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: lezhjani-82 Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
lezhjani-82
I Pavdekshem

Regjistruar: 02/01/2005
Vendbanimi: Eternity...
Mesazhe: 4813

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "B ert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it' ll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied,
"Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda bought a hat."

__________________
Jeta eshte nje semundje vdekjeprurese seksualisht e transmetueshme.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 10 Tetor 2008 15:00
lezhjani-82 nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė lezhjani-82 Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me lezhjani-82 (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė lezhjani-82't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: lezhjani-82 Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
lezhjani-82
I Pavdekshem

Regjistruar: 02/01/2005
Vendbanimi: Eternity...
Mesazhe: 4813

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, June 19th 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion:
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

__________________
Jeta eshte nje semundje vdekjeprurese seksualisht e transmetueshme.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 24 Qershor 2009 21:25
lezhjani-82 nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė lezhjani-82 Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me lezhjani-82 (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė lezhjani-82't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: lezhjani-82 Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto lezhjani-82 nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
SmoKer
heavy ...

Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Apple chief executive Steve Jobs has unveiled his new touchscreen computer called the iPad

Speaking at a news conference in San Francisco, Mr Jobs said: "We want to kick off 2010 by introducing a truly magical and revolutionary product.

"All of us use laptops and smartphones now.

"The question has arisen lately - is there room for a third category of device in the middle, something between the laptop and the smartphone?"

And then, to a round of applause, he showed off the new iPad, which has an on-screen keyboard, is half an inch thick (1.3cm) and weighs 1.5lb (0.7kg).

But after all the hype surrounding the launch, investors appeared to be underwhelmed by the unveiling.

Apple shares dropped more than 2% to a session low of $200.11.

Mr Jobs said the device, which has a 25cm colour screen, is "so much more intimate than a laptop and so much more capable than a smartphone."

Dressed in his trademark blue jeans and black turtleneck, Mr Jobs demonstrated some of the features of the iPad.

They said they include browsing the internet, playing games, listening to music and watching high-definition video.

"We've got movies, videos, TV shows," the chief executive added.

"We have been able to achieve 10 hours of battery life," he said. "I can take a flight from San Francisco to Tokyo and watch video the whole way on one charge."

Also at the launch, he announced the launch of an online bookstore dubbed "iBooks" for the iPad.

"We've got five of the biggest publishers in the world supporting us and will open the floodgates for the rest of the publishers starting this afternoon," Mr Jobs went on.

Earlier in the day, Sky News revealed that an official prototype of the device has been used by a UK design company to develop software.


Brandwidth were given the device to help them develop applications for Guinness World Records using some of the confirmed software features.

Dean Johnson, from Brandwidth told Sky News: "We've been told 'tablet' is simply the working title of the device because of the platform, but iPad is the front runner for the official name.

"We were given this prototype by Apple in December to help us develop software for Guinness.

"It's not the final version by any means, but it showcases some of the features of the digital publishing hub that the device will become.

"It has all the usual goodies you would expect from Apple, but the publishing will bring all that live. It's an ideal piece of kit."

Bandwidth revealed that device will run on an extension of the iPhone operating system.


http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100127...th-3fd0ae9.html

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 27 Janar 2010 19:51
SmoKer nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė SmoKer Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me SmoKer (me Mesazh Privat) Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: SmoKer Shto SmoKer nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto SmoKer nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
Fajtori
Apo jo?

Regjistruar: 11/06/2002
Vendbanimi: Europe
Mesazhe: 10706

God Hates Fags!

This should have been posted in religion subforums. But it's in english. Religious people are welcome to read it.


Kjo pjese duhej postuar tek Besimet Fetare, por eshte anglisht. Vlen te lexohet nga besimtaret te kuptuar pse fete mbjellin urrejtje, perbuzin homoseksualet dhe predikojne dhunen.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 03 Shtator 2010 02:54
Fajtori nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė Fajtori Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me Fajtori (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė Fajtori't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: Fajtori Shto Fajtori nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto Fajtori nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
SmoKer
heavy ...

Regjistruar: 11/02/2005
Vendbanimi: Kabul- a great city , in which to live ,play and w
Mesazhe: 2511

Hte phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 30 Shtator 2010 15:21
SmoKer nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė SmoKer Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me SmoKer (me Mesazh Privat) Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: SmoKer Shto SmoKer nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto SmoKer nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
Fajtori
Apo jo?

Regjistruar: 11/06/2002
Vendbanimi: Europe
Mesazhe: 10706

Citim:
Po citoj ato që tha SmoKer
Hte phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?


Thuj si te dush po lexohet pa shume problem. Ilustrim i bukur.

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 24 Tetor 2010 09:38
Fajtori nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė Fajtori Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me Fajtori (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė Fajtori't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: Fajtori Shto Fajtori nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto Fajtori nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
Fajtori
Apo jo?

Regjistruar: 11/06/2002
Vendbanimi: Europe
Mesazhe: 10706

Denonco kėtė mesazh tek moderatorėt | IP: e regjistruar

Mesazh i vjetėr 24 Tetor 2010 09:38
Fajtori nuk po viziton aktualisht forumin Kliko kėtu pėr Profilin Personal tė Fajtori Kliko kėtu pėr tė kontaktuar me Fajtori (me Mesazh Privat) Vizito faqen personale tė Fajtori't! Kėrko mesazhe tė tjera nga: Fajtori Shto Fajtori nė listėn e injorimit Printo vetėm kėtė mesazh Shto Fajtori nė listėn e monitorimit Ndrysho/Fshij Mesazhin Pėrgjigju Duke e Cituar
Ora tani: 01:20 Hap njė temė tė re    Pėrgjigju brenda kėsaj teme
Gjithsej 4 faqe: « 1 2 [3] 4 »   Tema e mėparshme   Tema Tjetėr

Forumi Horizont Forumi Horizont > Tema Shoqėrore > Gjuhėt e Huaja > Gjuha Angleze > I Found this curious !

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