Regjistruar: 02/09/2005
Vendbanimi: arratisur
Mesazhe: 2664

You Know You're Greek 2

1. You make frappe before leaving home, when getting to the office,
after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the
guests leave and before going to bed.

2. When shops have a sale they call your mom.

3. You still have clothes that you used to wear when you were five stored in
suitcases.

4. You call an older person you've never met before "Thio"
(Uncle:father's side) or "Thia" (Uncle: Mother's side) .

5. You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they
know everything about you, and make you believe that they actually do.

6. You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the
excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.

7. When you arrive home you find 20 people waiting for you at the
airport.

8. Every summer you must go to your village.

9. Every time you go to your village, you meet relatives you never
new they existed, and they look nothing like your family.

10. You look for universities as far away from home as possible, or as close to home as possible.

11. You always curse at Greeks and then when you travel to Europe or
the States you only make Greek friends.

12. When you come back from college you still have to live with
your parents, and fight over curfew all over again, as if you never left
them before.

13. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

14. Everyone is a family friend.

15. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

16. You teach Europeans/Americans swear words in your language.

17. When you go on a date you start thinking of places that you never
thought of before to avoid family or family friends.

18. You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with
the biggest mouth.

19. You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public.

20. If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that
you are getting too old.

21. Getting married becomes the only way you could escape your
parents.

22. You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you
can't stay out past midnight.

23. You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn on the light".

24. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how
he had to walk miles just to get to school with no shoes.

25. Your parents were ranked the first in school. (...or so they
claim)

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Letter to Koula

Dear Koula.

Why do you kratas moutra me? Afou you know i love you karga... Mexri yesterday we had gamo tis moments don't moy thn spas twra. What allakse now? You don't goystareis me anymore? You have found a gomeno mori? I can not believe that there is kanenas like me. Who is the tsoglan you goystareis and what exei more than me? Remember Kitsous de Masaei. Ma giati re koula do you pikreneis me at this dificult moment of my life? Afoy you know i have to mazepso Elies MY FELEK...

I don't want to koyrasw you but don't give my nurves giati i'll give you Shoot.

Mexri kai lessons agglikwn you always wanted ekana to see how much i am kapsoyris with you.

Kisses Kitsos

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Πάει ο γύφτος στο κατάστημα και ρωτά την πωλήτρια:
- Με παίρνει κάποιος τηλέφωνο που δεν το ξέρω, κάνει ΜΠΙΠ και το κλείνει αλλά εμφανίζεται το όνομά του στην οθόνη.
- Αυτό είναι αδύνατο κύριε. Μόνο εάν έχετε το όνομα στον κατάλογο εμφανίζεται.
- Αφού δεν τον ξέρω σας λέω. Μάλιστα είναι και Αραβας. "ΛΟΟΥ ΜΠΑΤΑΡ" τον λένε.

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Greek Jokes


Olympics 2004
1.Cigarette chain smoking marathon
First person to cough up a lung wins!

2.Gathering olives from trees
The Spaniards reckon they can take the Greeks on this one.

3.Long distance spitting
Ftou!

4.Nastiest armpit smell
This event takes place on any Bus in central Athens

5.Thickest moustaki!
Females are welcome to compete too

6.Goat herders' relay
Bulgaria were disqualified last year because they lost their bell.

7.Tavli
Ask for Kostaki at the kafeneio and don't eat the sporia

8.Komboloi (worry beads) toss
Both distance and accuracy count for points, double points if you get it
stuck in the klimataria

9.Longest duration wearing the same piece of clothing. Qualfiers for this event go straight into the final round for event 4

10.Papaki (small motorbike) race to the beach
10 bonus points if you knock over a German backpacker

11.The evil eye stare-down competition
Free xematiasma for anybody who arrives before 10pm

12.Beriba/Xeri playing
Bonus points if you slam the cards down so hard you knock over the bowl of
xerous karpous.

13.Frappe drinking
Bonus points available if you can still look tough and macho with a frappé
in your hand.

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How To Be An Effective Greek Parent
------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------

A quick reference guide of essential remarks you can't afford not to
make to your children during their formative and adult years.

Re: Going Out:
----------------------

Pa-a-a-a-li exo tha pas?
Then varethikes to 'exo'?
Ma esi then horteneis to 'exo'!
Olo to 'exo' skeftese kai tipot'allo!
Kala, i lexi "ohi" then iparhi sto lexilogio sou?
Ehthes then isouna oli mera exo?
Eseis an then ta yirisete ola ... tha skasete!
Olo to 'bye' ke to 'goodbye'. Then akoume ke tipot' allo apo sena!

When being asked for permission to go out:
--------------------------------------------------------

Then me paretas?
Se parakalo, ase me stin isyhia mou!
Re vale mialo eki pera ke katse hamou!
Ohou, pali ta ithia tha 'houme?
Re, katse sta avga sou!
Then pas pouthena, m'akous!
Kala, yia toso megalo koroitho me pernas? Les ke then xero pou tha pas!

Words of advice when going out:
-------------------------------------------

Ta matia sou dekatessera!
Prosexe min kanis tipota ke yinoume rezili!
Prosehe to potiri sou, mi sou rixei kaneis kamia stahti!

Reactions to getting home late:
---------------------------------------

Irthes?
Mori? ti ora ine afti?
Vre pou yirizeis toses ores?
Vre kalos 'tin!! Pos egine ke mas thimithikes?
Pou yirizete koritsia monaha sas tetia ora?
Kala, then borouses na erthis ligo pio arga?
Olo sta 'discos' mou yirizeis?
Spiti then ehis?
Xenothoheio to theoris etho mesa?

Clothes:
---------------

Afto to ahristo piyes ke pires?
Vre, then afises tipota sta magazia yia ka'nan allon?
Kala, then to 'pernes ligo pio kondotero to foustani?
An s'afiso na vgeis exo kai na foras afto to pragma, na me ftiseis!

Friends:
--------------

Ahh, aftes i filenades sou se fagane!
Pou tis vrikes teties 'files'?
Kala, i files sou then ehoune goneis?
An se xanafiso na vgis exo mazi tous, na mou tripisis ti miti!

Studies:
---------------

Ta fortosate sto kokora!
Esi pia? ta 'mathes ola!
Kala, then sas mathenoune tipota s'afta ta 'blurry' (bloody) panepistimia?

Housework:
-----------------

Vre, kane kai kamia thouleia!
Perimenete na sas ta kanoume ola emeis?
Prepi na mathis, allios tha se koroithevi i pethera sou!

Life:
-----------

I zoi then ine olo pexe-yelase!
Eseis i neolea ta thelete ola! Alla then einai etsi i zoi!

The use of the family car:
----------------------------------

To karo ine 'orait' (alright)? [This must be the first question asked of your child upon their return home after using the family car]
To karo mou to kanate 'vithes'!
Re prosehte!?.Tha mou to xeharvaliasete to karo opos pate!

Taking holidays:
--------------------

Akous ekei, then prolavame n'arhisoume thouleia ke theloume 'holiday' kiolas!
Ola ta 'holidays' skeftese ke tipot' allo?
Vre, emeis irthame me mia valitsa athia, hissame ema kai ithrota na mazepsoume kana frango? oute exo vyename, oute 'holidays' piyename? tipota! Emeis then eimaste anthropi? Mono eseis hreiazeste xekourasi. Akous ekei!

Saving money:
------------------

Re mazepse kana selini eki pera!
Esi then tha kaneis prokopi pote!
Ma pos tha sou mini kana frango, afou then mazevese katholou sto spiti?

Using others as an example:
-------------------------------------

Ithes ti kala pethia einai tou ____? Eseis yiati ne min eisaste etsi?
Emena then me niazei ti kanoune i alli! (in response to the child's use of 'ta pethia tou ___" as an example)

Food:
-----------

Fai pethi mou, fai!
Fagate kala?

Behavior:
--------------

Then tha valis mialo pote?
Then drepese ligaki?
San then drepese?
Kita tropous!
Bravo?etsi milane sto patera / sti mana tous?
Re? sovarepsou ligaki!
Re sklirokefalo plasma!
Re xerokefalo!
Re oneiroparmeno!
To mialo sou ke mia lira!
Ta miala sou ehoune pari aera!
Mou kanate to kefali mou bouzouki!
Re, tha me steilete sto 'Parramatta' / 'Botany' opos pate!
Ti eheis pathei? Mipos pernis 'drungs'?

General remarks:
------------------------

To kako sou to kero!
Ti tha lei o kosmos?
Gamo t'??..(insert relevant noun or phrase)
Re, ise sta kala sou?
Ahh?ego ta leo, ego t' akouo!
Ma esi pia then troyese me tipota!
Ego yia kalo sou s'to leo!
Re, ti aharista eisaste!
Vre as' ta skata sou!
Ahh, tha se fao! (accompanied by the obligatory biting of the orefinger)

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Top 10 Reasons Not To Marry Greek...
-------------------------------------------------

Women:
-------------

Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Marry a Greek Male
1. Two words - His Mother.

2. Housework and birthing his children isn't your life ambition.

3. Sometimes you want to have an opinion about something.

4. You hate his mother's cooking, and that's all he'll eat.

5. His brother/cousin/friend/uncle has the hots for you.

6. Spending your wedding night alone while he plays poker isn't your idea of fun.

7. Your nostrils can't take the amount of cologne he "splashes" on.

8. You thought "Greek Style" was how green beans and chicken was cooked.

9. Looking at other men isn't allowed, but he can look at other women.

10. He picks his nose in public.



Men:
----------

Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Marry a Greek Woman

1. One word - "Babaaaaa!" (accompanied by crying)

2. She can't cook like your mother.

3. Having your children and cleaning your house isn't fun for her...go figure!

4. The incessant whining of her voice drives you crazy.

5. She always has an opinion about everything.

6. You can't have sex with her until she's married, but find out after that she's slept with your brother and cousin and uncle and friends.

7. One more word - Nagging.

8. Buying new living room furniture every six months isn't how you want to spend your money.

9. She thinks "Greek Style" is how you cook green beans and chicken.

10. She won't let you show her what "Greek Style" really is.

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A Greek, A Turk And 2 Women Are On A Train...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

In a train carriage there were a Greek man, a Turkish man, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Turkish man had a big red slap mark on his cheek. (1) The blonde thought: - "That Turkish idiot wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face". (2) The fat lady thought: - "This dirty old Turkish man laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him". (3) The Turkish man thought: - "That stupid Greek man put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me". (4) The Greek man thought: - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that Turko again".

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hahahahhahahhahah FOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

YOU HAVE VERY ''PLAKA''

HIHIHIH I LIKE U POLYYYYYYYYYYY

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Proper English... Greek-English... Greek



No worries... noworis... kanena provlima

Hello... allaou... yia

I don't know... eyerono... Pou thes na xero?

That's all right... tsorait... kala

Yes... mmm... ame

No... mm mm ... tsou/oxi re pousti

excuse me... eyyyyyyy... re malaka

Could I have a glass or water please... wun wota plis... ena nero grigora

Could you tell me when the next bus is due?... when caming next bus... miazo yia othigo?

Oh damn!... fukyen shit... gamimenoooo

Oh well... awell... den gamiete

You're very beautiful... yiou very sexy... ise mounara

Would you like to come in for coffee?... yiou fukoffi... ela, pame gia tsimboukia

You awful woman... fukyen bits... kariola

You're late... cuman, otsi taim... pou ise re pousti

Thank you... thengiou... (No translation found)

I'm sorry... skiuped... stravomara

You idiot... blar ry inthies... kimismeno

I love beautiful woman... be youri ful ngel... m'aresi na gamao

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hahahhhahaha
kALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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